‘Bernard’-A Chicken on the Bus

I first met ‘Bernard the chicken’ when he came squawking and flapping into my arms from
Bernard’s mother. He was a present, despite her being so poor. This really touched me. As
Bernard the chicken lay in my arms, I did not have the heart to tell Bernard’s mother that I was a
vegetarian and did not, in fact, eat chicken. Bakka and I named the chicken on the bus on our
way back from his mother’s house: ‘What shall we call him?’ I asked, while sitting with the
chicken on my lap.

‘Let’s call him Bernard, in honour of our friend who died’, responded Bakka.

The matatu was made even livelier by me, Bakka, and Bernard strutting down the bus.
The chicken chattered between us on the back seat, much to the amusement of the other
passengers. They seemed amazed to see a mzungu (white person) carrying a chicken all the way
to Kampala. Bernard got up to all kinds of exploits, flapping about, jumping under the seats,
nibbling people’s toes, and squawking at the top of his voice. This reminded me of the human
Bernard’s excitement when Peter Gabriel had asked him and Bakka to record a CD (Olugendo –
The Trip-see photo) at his studios. Their song Olugendo Lw’e Bulaya (The Journey to Europe)
was played during the film Hotel Rwanda and can still be found online today. I had been glad to
see Bernard’s mother’s face light up when I had handed over the hard-earned money from the
CD sales, and Bernard (the chicken) jumped about as if to acknowledge her joyousness and relief
that it had been too late for Bernard to spend it all. I noticed Bernard’s hopping around the bus
and the movements were rhythmically in beat. Just like the real Bernard, who would strut his
stuff to the delight of huge audiences.

Every time I saw Bakka afterwards, I would ask after our friend Bernard, and he would
remark; ‘Bernard’s getting fat’; ‘Bernard’s getting fatter’; ‘Bernard’s really fat now’. I smiled to
myself, as Bernard had been so thin in real life. I considered it ironic as fatness in Uganda was
considered a sign of health and wealth. Then one day, I asked Bakka, ‘Have you eaten Bernard
yet?’

After six bumpy, fun-filled hours, all of us were covered in dust. Bakka started to get off
the bus, as we had arrived in ‘crazy’ Kampala Bus Park, so I hastily said, ‘Hey, Bakka, you’d
better take Bernard since I’m a vegetarian’. Bakka smiled, as did the others on the bus, and
mumbled: ‘Muzungu Nalule kwogera Luganda’, meaning ‘the white woman called Nalule speaks
Ugandan’. Every time I saw Bakka afterwards, I would ask after our friend Bernard, and he
would remark; ‘Bernard’s getting fat’; ‘Bernard’s getting fatter’; ‘Bernard’s really fat now’. I
smiled to myself, as Bernard had been so thin in real life. I considered it ironic as fatness in
Uganda was considered a sign of health and wealth.

Then one day, I asked Bakka, ‘Have you eaten Bernard yet?’

He replied, ‘No, Nalule, I do not have the heart to eat our friend’.

Sometime later, I asked after Bernard, and Bakka smirked. ‘You won’t believe it’, he said,
‘Bernard escaped’. I smiled to myself.

Well, there you go, I thought. Bernard got the last laugh by escaping being eaten so he
could continue strutting his stuff like he always used to.

Olugendo being played during Hotel Rwanda: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4RpTl29Iok

Purchase CD: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Olugendo-Bernard-Kabanda/dp/B00000JRXK

CD cover Olugendo (The Trip) of Bernard Kabanda and Samuel Bakkabulindi